Have you ever said something, or done something that you wish you could undo? Unfortunately, there’s no way to take your words back and there’s now way to undo what you’ve done!
Saying or doing the wrong thing can harm relationships, jeopardise trust and damage one’s character, and although we may do our best to control our behaviour it seems we’re not always successful.
One may then wonder what leads to taking regretful decisions at some point in all of our lives. Here are 8 reasons to explain our actions that we regret later in our life!
1. Impulsivity: Often our need to gratify our feelings and emotions takes control of what we do, which is when we act on our impulse, without keeping in mind its aftereffects. Choices made impulsively can definitely be a quicker way to decide what to do, but probably not the most effective and mindful way of leading a peaceful life.
2. Emotional state: As mentioned, our emotions often control us, where our anger may influence us to hit our loved one, or even be nasty to them! Negative emotional states where we are upset, stressed, or overwhelmed, are times when we might not take decisions that are in our best interest.
3. Cognitive biases: Managing our biases is often a skill one masters with time, but our biases never fully go away! These biases are systematic errors in our thinking that can lead us to make misinformed decisions. For example, we may be influenced by our beliefs in certain stereotypes, where our decisions may be limited only to what we believe, instead of going beyond our assumptions.
4. Environmental factors: Our surroundings also influence our actions. The infamous peer pressure that is spoken of in schools is another factor behind regretful decisions. Social pressure can also influence us to do things we feel are right, in order to comply with societal expectations.
5. Lack of self-awareness: Not knowing our own needs and desires often puts us in an unclear spot, where we take decisions that we are not sure of. Choices made out of uncertainty are never in the direction of our thoughts, behaviors and emotions.
6. Lack of self-control: The inability to use one’s will power at the right time, can result in people making decisions only out of the need to seek pleasure, or quickly gratify their specific needs.
7. Fear: Some actions are also taken out of fear - fear of rejection, change or even failure. Fear makes us do things that we would never do intentionally. For example, compulsively lying to your partner about something that might hurt them, is a decision taken out of fear, which may be regretted later.
8. Habit: Habits are automatic behaviors that are repetitive in nature, and start to come naturally to people over time, and start to lack thought in them. For example, binge eating on feeling upset is a common decision taken by people, followed by great regret of ruining their diet or consuming excessive calories.
To be able to take control of our actions and words is a slow process, which requires utmost attention to our behavioral patterns, as well as acknowledgment and acceptance of factors that influence our behavior. Understanding these factors and influences on our behaviors, leads to a certain level of will power being built. This will power will help one identify such patterns, and therefore, help one move in a direction, which would have lesser regrets! Even though one would want to move towards a life of no regrets, we all might have to settle for one with lesser regrets. A life with no regrets is an ideal one, but a life with less regrets is achievable and should be strived for!
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